


El Pollo Loco II: The Plot Chickens

by magicianofdeviance (magicianofesperance)



Series: El Pollo Loco [2]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexual Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Bisexual Male Character, Crack, Everyone Is Gay, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Gay, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, M/M, MarcNath November, Nathmarc November, One Shot, Smut, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:54:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27583681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicianofesperance/pseuds/magicianofdeviance
Summary: Oh nahhh. Horny flying bussies are rampaging through Paris! Again. Bruh. Whatever will Ladybug and Chat Noir do??? Call in reinforcements, of course! In cums El Pollo Loco and Condom Noir to save the day… or fuck the day. Either way. Eh.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Marc Anciel/Nathaniel Kurtzberg, Sabine Cheng/Tom Dupain
Series: El Pollo Loco [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1997932
Comments: 6
Kudos: 9





	El Pollo Loco II: The Plot Chickens

**Author's Note:**

> NSFW Content warning. Scenes are immensely sexual and comical. Also probs gayer than the first, ngl. Viewer discretion is advised.  
> All characters aged up 18+  
> Thank you to the miraculous beta readers Sydney/hiyall03 & Fiona/adrienthechatnoir

Ladybug handed Chat Noir a cock ring. “Chat Noir, this is the Miraculous of Erection. Do you promise to use it for the greater good?”

Before she could finish replying, Chat Noir had already unzipped himself, his cock whipped out. He snatched the Miraculous from her fingertips, placing it around the base of his shaft.

Nathaniel couldn’t peel his eyes away. “Nice cock, bro.”

Chat grinned, nodding. “You like it, bruh?”

“Yeah, I do. Mind if I borrow it sometime?” Nathaniel’s tongue was sticking out of his mouth, drooling.

Ladybug facepalmed. “BOYS. BUSINESS BEFORE PLEASURE. How many times must I say it to get it through your guys’ thick skulls?”

“I’d rather have it in my thicc ass,” Nathaniel deadpanned.

“Paw-don me, m’lady.” Chat Noir jokingly looked at her in disgust. “Out of all the times you said that, did I get to pleasure you afterwards?”

She winked. “Once.”

“Exactly!”

She wrapped her arms around his broad shoulders, flicking her teasing tongue against his ear. No, his actual ear. “Please wrap your willy before getting silly and we’ll see what we can do  _ later, _ mon chaton.”

“Aren’t you purr-suasive?” Chat was feeling hot and bothered, desperately wanting him and Ladybug to both detransform. He wanted to take her by her hips to fuck her mercilessly on the rooftops of Paris. He clapped his hands together. “Let’s get this show on the road, folks!”

In a brilliant light, a kwami appeared. Pure white with a long tail, it was like a flying sperm and spoke in a British accent. “Hullo. I am Viaagra, the kwami of Erection. To transform, say ‘Hard On!’ Oh, though I do suppose you’re going to unify me with Plagg? Alright.” He blew a kiss. “I love our little adventures, Plaggy-boo.” Viaagra winked. “To use the power, say ‘Lubrication!’ when the time is right.”

“Alrighty, noted. Plagg. Viaagra. Unify!” Adrien shouted. The kwami flew onto the cock ring and in a bright flash of cum-white light, he transformed into a giant condom costume with cat ears.

“I am  _ Condom Noir _ .”

Following his lead, Nathaniel called out, “Orikko, Strap On!” In an instant of ramen-noodle coloured light, Nathaniel was once again, El Pollo Loco in his chicken man get-up.

The three of them flew across the skies. With Ladybug on her yoyo, Condom Noir with his pole (no, his literal pole), and El Pollo Loco’s giant penis helicopter, they landed on the rooftops when they spotted the collateral hotspot of the city.

“Okay guys, this time, it seems the akumatized victim is only attacking men this time around. This is a lot more man butt than I’ve ever wanted to see in my life.” She turned to see her two bisexual partners drooling at the sight. She rolled her eyes. “Go get ‘em, tigers.”

“Aye-aye Cap’n!” El Pollo Loco cried.

They took off before she could reply, “Wrong cereal.” She sighed. She wasn’t even going to be able to cut Lila’s clitoris off. Again.  _ ‘Well, actually, I could. The damage might be permanent but whatever-’  _ “Ah!’

She ducked. One of the man-gobbling bussies came flying right at her head, nearly smacking her off the rooftop she stood on.

She crouched down, watching the boys face off against their greatest challenge yet: Tom’s bussy.

Tom’s bussy was unlike that of most of the men’s in Paris, even unlike Xavier Ramier’s. Xavier, who in all honesty, is a little funky-pigeon-man-slut who gets _wayyyy_ too many sexual hook-ups. This was also a reason for his many akumatizations, but that’s a story for another day. Anyways, nearly every afternoon for the last twenty years of their marriage, Sabine pegged Tom up his asshole. When in those early days when she wasn’t able to take daddy Tom’s long, thick, girthy, rolling-pin of a cock, _he began to take it_ _from her._ At first they used a double-sided dildo, with one end up her vagina, the other in his booty-hole. They eventually graduated onward to a bright pink strap-on with which Sabine loved to use to dominate in bed.

Even with Condom Noir and El Pollo Loco’s magic sex powers, individually, they were powerless against Tom’s ravenous ass. El Pollo Loco and Condom Noir needed to combine their powers. They entered Tom’s bussy at the same time, working together to find a rhythm that would appease him. Nathaniel and Adrien had only been eighteen-years-old, fighting off Tom’s ravenous asshole with nearly their entire bodies thrusting in.

Chat knew he needed an extra bit of help, even with both the powers of the kwami of Penetration and Erection combined, Tom remained almighty. Chat thought back to the one memory in his reserves that had turned him on no matter what.

* * *

It was a dark, starlit night and Adrien had once again hopped through Marinette’s window as Chat Noir, but now, they finally knew each other’s identities. They could finally love each other in the sanctity of trust, comfort, and in peace. And also fuck each other senselessly.

Marinette danced across the room in her sheer red nighty, ornamented in black lace. Her face, done in makeup in the style of Marilyn Monroe. She began to glance towards her loft bed, climbing up the ladder. Her grip tightening around each bar. Her hands nervously clenched around each one in anticipation of her first time with Adrien Agreste and his first time with Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Their loins, set on fire, aching for one another was too great to wait any longer.

Marinette took a deep breath in, finally ready to reveal herself to the man lying across her bed, waiting patiently. “Guess who’s not wearing any- Adrien! Stop abusing the kwami! I get you’ve been having troubles in bed lately, but I’m not fucking you while you’re dressed like a giant condom!”

* * *

Yup. That did the trick. Chat’s cock was as hard as ever. His animalistic lust and adrenaline, kicking in. He felt the fury of the power of destruction and the power of erection coursing through his veins. In minutes, which Tom could never even accomplish that fast himself with his hefty dragon dildos, Tom’s bussy was finally conquered. Its form, orgasming and drenched in a thick purple foam.

A voice called from down the street, “Monsieur Chicken Man!”

Nathaniel smiled, recognizing his boyfriend. “That is El Pollo Loco to you, citizen!”

Marc winked. “Can I see your cock?”

“Bruh. It is six feet long. Maybe seven. I can legit use this thing as a heli-cock-ter. Are you blind or something?”

Marc’s eyes were pleading. “Cock is one of my favourite tastes. Not only that, but the balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little  _ loco _ on it to be honest. A little El Pollo Loco. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied.” Flickering with lust and joy across his face, Marc continued, “Besides, I wanna touch it!”

“Ah, alrighty then.”

El Pollo Loco swung it his direction, and to his surprise, he was right. His magical cock could  _ indeed _ knock someone out for the count. It was his weapon, afterall, and a dangerous one at that.

El Pollo Loco dragged his boyfriend’s body up off the ground, into his arms. He swung his cock around, taking lift-off and propelling up to the skies. Finally landing on the roof of his apartments, he set Marc down inside the roof-access stairwell, hidden from the hungry terrorist ass monsters. Nathaniel kissed Marc’s head, caressing his cheek. Well, he tried. His chicken man beak got in the way and accidentally pecked Marc’s face and entered his mouth, but who is to know if he’s not awake and no one else is around...

* * *

El Pollo Loco finally caught up with Ladybug and Condom Noir who had already found the akumatized victim. A large green banana, dressed in BDSM leather and chains, aimed his cellphone at another man, cornered and helpless. Nathaniel immediately recognized the logo on the victim’s device. An orange mask against a dark grey background could only be one demonic app straight from Satan himself meant for the mental scarring and terrorization of men in the LGBT+ community: Grindr.

“Mr. Banana!” El Pollo Loco yelled. He had never realized who the akuma had been the first time he had become a hero.

“I am no longer Mr. Banana,” he replied. “I am Doctor Plantain!”

“But- but plantains and bananas look exactly the same!”

Doctor Plantain scornfully hissed at him. “I’ll make you deepthroat a plantain and a banana and you can tell me if they’re the same then!” Through the peel of his outfit, Doctor Plantain’s twelve-inch boner was visibly raging hard.

Condom Noir looked at his partner. “Ladybug. Maybe we should try out that new thing we practiced last night,” he said.

Ladybug gasped. “Chat Noir! We’re fighting an Akuma! This isn’t the time or place!”

He raised his brow. “What? Oh! No, not that! The other thing we practiced last night.”

“Oh yeah!” Ladybug nodded. “Lucky charm!”

A large tube of Gorilla Glue popped into her hands.

“Superglue?” Chat asked.

Ladybug smirked. “Not what we had in mind, but superglue,” she confirmed.

They could hear the akumatized victim’s monologuing. “Now, with the world as my bussy, I will never get stood up again by my Grindr booty calls!”

Disgusted, Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Hey, banana man! I hear there’s a new lip gloss in town. It’s called superglue. I think it’d look good on you.”

Using her teeth, she bit off the top of the glue bottle. In moments, the glue began foaming over Doctor Plantain in a yellow-ish white sludge. Condom Noir walked over, breaking his cellphone into two.

As the akuma flew into the air, Ladybug called out her classic magical victory powers. “Time to de-evilize! Bye-bye little butterfly.”

After the Miracle Cure had healed the terrorizing bussies of Paris, Mr. Banana snapped the top off of a Don Equis beer. He was certainly the most interesting man in the world. “Stay peachy, my friends.”

With the city safe at last, Nathaniel and Chat Noir returned to Ladybug the sex Miraculouses.

“Thank you, Nathaniel,” Ladybug said.

“We really appreciate your help,” Chat continued.

“It’s my pleasure.” Nathaniel winked at Chat. “Seriously.”

Ladybug rolled her eyes. “Stop flirting with my boyfriend. Catfriend? Eh.”

“Anyways, I gotta blast. My boyfriend is back at my apartment and I need to see if they’re still conked out.”

“I can take you there,” Chat Noir offered.

“Really? That’d be awesome.”

“Get in, losers. We’re going shopping.” Nathaniel straddled Chat as he pogoed his way across the Parisian skyline.

“There!” Nathaniel pointed to a shoddy apartment complex. Chat landed on the roof, putting Nathaniel down. Immediately, they opened the door into the stairwell.

“He’s gone!” Nathaniel started to freak out.

Chat Noir tried calming him down. “Hold on,  _ purr _ haps he’s safe and sound.”

There Marc was, lounging on Nathaniel’s bed, completely in the nude. Rose petals were the only thing that dared cover his body. “Hey there, sexy chicken man. I was hoping you could paint me like one of your French girls with your cum and leave my hole gaping like a Costco rotisserie chicken- NATHANIEL YOU DID NOT WARN ME WE WERE HAVING COMPANY OVER. I-”

Chat grinned. “To be fair, cutie, I’d paws-itively paint you with my cum if I didn’t already have a French girl of my own to do that with. Speaking of which, too-da-loo!” With a wink, he flew out the window, making his way to Marinette’s balcony.

“Nathaniel,” Marc said, bringing the attention back to him.

“Marc.”

Marc ruffled his hair, rose petals falling out. “Your day must have been exhausting.” 

“Did you prepare the usual?” Nathaniel smirked at him.

Without missing a beat, Marc pointed to a table to Nathaniel’s side. He looked down, seeing a shot glass. He picked it up, holding it in his hand. Looking back up, Marc had one too. Nathaniel walked with his glass, sitting beside his boyfriend. 

“Cheers,” they said, raising their glasses

In a moment, they both downed a shot of each other’s cum. After which, passionate kisses and hours of making love followed.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. It’s rated Mature, but it is _so_ not.
> 
> [Come and join the Superior Miraculous Server on Discord!](https://discord.gg/ZWZdjYkUyC)  
> We have weekly, monthly, and seasonal events, games, parties, and many fun activities with an active community of over one hundred members


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